Just how interrelated are emotional pain and physical pain? I've always known there was a connection, but the past few days are really making me wonder. After the incident with the Match guy last week, I tried hard on Friday to get over it and I thought it was working as my mood was generally bettter that day. But then on Saturday I was back to the point of being so depressed I couldn't get out of bed. And my back and my leg were KILLING me. Of course it didn't help that my sister called and told me about a friend of ours who is even more depressed and probably somewhat suicidal. So much of what he's going through are things I know a lot about, but while I told her I would love to talk to him if he's willing to, I sort of think he won't. And because he's 15 years younger than me, we don't have the kind of relationship where I can reach out to him (without an intervenor like my sister who is very close to him) without it being somewhat weird, which would probably push him farther away. In addition to that, my sister also emailed me pictures of three beautiful size 10 dresses she's wearing to a wedding next week. And while she has worked her ass off (literally) to get to that size and the ability to wear clothes like that, and I am truly very proud of her for it, it definitely made me feel even more like a fat cow. Which I know I shouldn't, because even though I haven't lost any weight lately, I am still diligently making efforts to walk as much as possible and get back to my healthy eating program. But for whatever reason, it did. Which of course also made me slide back into the unhealthy thought patterns of "will this leg pain really ever go away?", "am I ever going to find someone to share my life with?", "am I going to be stuck in this miserable job forever?" and "why can't I just find a way to kick myself in the ass and find the motivation to change all of this?" Needless to say it was a pretty miserable weekend. And so far today isn't much better. I've been attempting to look up women's groups in my area that I could join, but almost all of them have meetings at completely ridiculous times -- "Thursdays at 10am" -- who the hell can attend those except stay at home moms and ladies who lunch? Again, depressing. I so, so, so want my attitude from the week before last back....but of course have no idea how to get it.