And, yes, the British guy has gone completely MIA. Ignoring my incredibly threatening "Good morning. How are you?" IM on Tuesday, then going offline completely till yesterday. Guess he's decided I've gotten the message. Fucking coward.

Why are they all like that? I just can't grasp it. I so want to send him just one more IM that says just "Seriously?? You're 42 years old."

And what sucks even more than how literally personally heartbroken I felt the first few days after the weekend, is how I have once again lost faith in men in general. I'm also pissed that he opened a door that had been, very comfortably, closed for several years now and now I feel like I'm completely off my game in terms of everything I was doing before the last few weeks...going forward with some form of the Cupcake Dream, getting excited about Christmas, working on ignoring my damn leg, etc. How fucking ridiculous is it that one man's juvenile actions can still do that to me?? I hate it! I feel 16 years old again!

The only upside: my ex did manage to save things for men in general just a bit by telling me he'd dedicated a song I like (and he doesn't) to me at his gig the other night. That gave me one little happy spot in a really crappy week.