Out of nowhere, spent 4 hours on the phone with my ex-fiance last night having an amazingly honest talk about a lot of the shit that's gone on with us over the past several years...particularly my reticence to talk to him at all in fear that every time I've done it in the past, it's opened the door to all kinds of ridiculous crap from him -- calls in the middle of the night, etc. There is still a tiny bit of fear that that may happen again now, but I'm hopeful that it won't, as I was very clear on how much I hated that and why. Also, I learned that he has a live in girlfriend who was actually there for most our conversation, which made me feel less like this could turn into yet another phone stalking incident. And he sent me a very nice, insightful email about the conversation this morning that eased my fears on that a bit more as well. (And also left me crying...but basically tears of relief, which is good, except that I'm at work.) Anyway, it was a really good conversation, and while we were talking we also collaborated to find an email address for an old friend of ours who we were worried had been affected by the recent Missouri tornadoes and he sent her an email from both of us to make sure she was OK. (And she is.)

The only bad part -- part of my pleasure in the conversation was that it finally gave me an excuse to check off a category on irunurun that I haven't checked off in weeks -- renewing contacts. How pathetic am I that I was actually excited to do that? Loser.