Finally have the AC and cable fixed, but somehow my stress from that doesn't seem to have gone away. I can't seem to find my way back to happy....or even faking happy. I think part of it is because I am forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone and really start dealing with the cupcake dream again, and it's been, once again, disheartening. I met with the small business loans woman at my bank Saturday and she basically said my only option was an SBA loan that would probably be dicey due to my lack of business experience. And while she gave me a contact at the bank to call about it, I know that I'm back at that Catch 22 where I will need to give him the business plan from the company and their facts and figures in order to know whether I could qualify for a loan, but the company doesn't even want to meet with me until I can tell them I qualify for a loan. I know from both reading other entrepreneurs' blogs etc. that I just need to keep working at it through all the "no's" until I finally get a "yes", but some days that just seems like such an exhausting task.

I am, however, proud of myself for pushing myself to join a local chapter of a national organization of women small business owners who I'm hoping will be able to give me some real world advice and possibly even mentor me through the process. I registered to go to my first "event" Thursday night, though right now I'm the only one registered, so I hope they don't cancel it! Even if it's just the event coordinator and me, I'd love to be able to sit down with SOMEONE - ANYONE -- who's actually done it and is willing to share information about it, and a one on one with her might actually be better than a whole group thing. So we'll see. Also, I have a new member phone call set up with the Atlanta director of the group for next week, so I'll have half an hour to hear more about the group and all it does. All of which is good, but is still stressing me out. I don't think it would be quite as bad if I didn't have so many other things going on over the next three weeks -- doctors' appointments, PT, birthday party for the twins, two weekends in a row out of town at my brother's. For someone who usually does nothing but work, workout, and lie on the couch, this is stressful. (And pathetic, yes, I know.) But since one of the major things I keep saying that is making me unhappy is boredom and a lack of people in my life, if I can make myself do all these things, I might just be on the road to fixing some of that.