Two truly fucked up things I've realized about myself lately.  1) Because I have no one to share the details of my life with, I end up talking way too much about myself in almost any situation.  It's like some compulsive need to have someone, anyone, understand me.  And I also spend a lot of time in conversations thinking of the next thing I'm going to say about me rather than listening to the other person.  Horrible.  And sad.  2) I frequently feel "younger", in an inadequate kind of way, to people who are married with children, just because I have neither.  Like because I don't have those life experiences, I am not as "worthy" somehow of their respect.  WTF is that??

I soooo need to get back into therapy.

Two things that really appeal to me, but that I just can't do:  becoming both a novelist and a runner.  My lack of creativity keeps me from writing and my bad back and knees keep me from running.  Would editing and walking be decent substitutions?

Bucket list/things I've done

In an effort to make myself feel like I've actually done a few things in my life, I've decided to make a list of the things a lot of people list on their Pinterest Bucket Lists that I have already done.  Hopefully returning to the list will make me feel better during times (like these!) where I feel like my life has been nothing but a slog through a horrible job and a boring life.

1.  Been in love
2.  Gotten engaged
3.  Had a candlelight
4.  Planned a wedding - trying on dresses, etc.
5.  Lived in Los Angeles
6.  Lived in New Orleans
7.  Traveled with a band
8.  Been to many Mardi Gras'
9.  Been to Italy
10.  Been to Scotland
11.  Been to Disneyland
12.  Been to Disneyworld
13.  Been to Seaworld in Florida, Texas and California
14.  Have had songs written about me
15.  Have bought my own house
16.  Been to the Grand Canyon
17.  Been to New York City
18.  Been to Central Park
19.  Been skiing in Colorado
20.  Been to Las Vegas
21.  Been to Reno
22.  Have danced en pointe
23.  Been to Washington DC
24.  Have  5 nieces and nephews and 3 godchildren
25.  Been to Mexico
26.  Been to summer day camp, where I learned:
  - to ride a horse
  - archery
27.  Took ice skating lessons
28.  Took piano lessons
29.  Took tap dance and ballet lessons
30.  Took tennis lessons
31.  Took swimming lessons
32.  Member of a wonderful sorority in college