Other quick updates:

My old boss has advised me to forget about becoming his friend's personal assistant for now. The other guy is too disorganized to even make decisions about it. So it sounds like that may be for the best. Though it pisses me off, as it sounded so promising originally.

Am still considering doing it for others, though. And am now thinking about a paralegal consulting business for small firms -- helping them organize their work systems and hire and keep better staff.

Am also, however, still considering a cupcake franchise. Mom went to finally went to the Gigi's near her, and then couldn't stop talking about it. So she might actually support me now if I went that route.

We'll see.

Have determined I'm ceasing all contact with my ex after he wrote me one week that he'd hospitalized himself for suicidal thoughts and severe depression, then, a week later, tried to pull the "nah, I'm fine" crap he pulled 20 years ago. I don't play that game twice, you idiot.

The job is boring me to tears still.

Spring, however, is giving me some renewed diet and exercise motivation. That, and slowly going off the bad meds, I think. Though I'm still constantly hungry, I am better at keeping myself eating only healthy things for the most part. So we'll see there too.

OMG, I am sooooo tired of listening to the exact...same...complaints...every...single...day from both my coworker and my mother, who are, sadly, the two people I talk to most on a daily basis. My coworker's endless complaints about the same work-related things are making me almost completely avoid her and my mother's repeated anxiety-ridden complaints about her messy house are literally give ME an anxiety condition! I am now BEGGING my mother to get on a regular regimen of Xanax - or something! - before she puts us all in the hospital! It is horrible!

I realized this weekend that I am secretly...or not so secretly, really...a 13 year old girl. Friday night, on the way home from work, I HAD to go buy the second and third Hunger Games books because I knew I would be finishing the first one that night, and I HAD to be able to start the second one right away. On Saturday, I was forced away from the second book only by my absolutely required errands, luckily one of which was having my car serviced, so I could bring the book with me. However, as I was sitting in the Honda waiting room, I suddenly came to the realization that I was a 45 year old woman sitting there in a hot pink hoody and jeans, reading a hugely popular young adult book, occasionally checking my email on my hot pink iPhone. Ridiculous. I can hear every therapist I've ever gone to saying "let's talk about what is missing in your life to cause this..." Pathetic. But do I see myself doing anything differently any time soon? Nope! What does THAT say? And probably the absolute worst part: I am already DREADING finishing these 3 books because I know that I will be MASSIVELY depressed when they are over!

This week has been a complete pity party. I have felt depressed all week and have pretty much wallowed in it. Miserable at work, no energy, no motivation to work out (so I haven't, at all...bad!), hungry all the time, still stupid and blind from the drugs I am now starting to titrate off of...all I want to do is lie in bed, read and sleep. Thank god I started The Hunger Games last Sunday. I was, of course, instantly obsessed and will probably finish the book tonight. Which means tomorrow I absolutely MUST go get the other two books and start reading the second one immediately. (Yes, The Hunger Games is my new Twilight...) Looking forward to getting home and reading is the only thing that's kept me sane this week. Even Pinterest has been less interesting this week, so I really needed a good read! I just need to find a way to get motivated to work out and get back on Weight Watchers next week (while still reading, of course) so I don't get completely off track! Thank god my doctor doesn't see me again till the end of May!