Two days after my last post my mother was admitted to the hospital again...this time for a complete intestinal blockage and possible surgery. She ended up avoiding surgery, but was told by her doctor that this was probably the beginning of a slide into more ongoing problems. They have upped her medications and have even added a chemotherapy drug (!!!) in an attempt to control her inflammation. Not good. Since this happened I have felt like there is going to be no way for me to avoid getting sucked into eventually moving back home to deal with this. Maybe not in the next year or two, but soon enough to where it does not make sense for me to invest every penny I have in starting a business here when I might possibly have to leave it. This has been an incredibly depressing situation. I feel like I have no control over my future, that will be completely determined by my mother's health. And while I've tried to get myself motivated to look at it as positively as possible and tried to start working on just finding another corporate job, it's been crushing to think about having to completely drop the option of starting a business.

This past weekend was the grand opening for the cupcake shop in my area that I had hoped would be mine. I couldn't bring myself to attend. My chest literally hurt the entire weekend thinking about it and I basically didn't even get out of bed yesterday, I was so depressed.

And the worst part of all of this? That I have no one to really talk to about it. Which of course, is one of my main problems in life right now -- such a ridiculously small social network. I know that changing this would make a difference in every aspect of my life, but being as depressed as I am makes it soooo hard to find the motivation to do something about it. It's a totally viscious circle, and have no idea how to break out of it right now.